Another cog in the wheel known as the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy to combat the Extreme Left-Wing Media.

Friday, February 24, 2006

The convenience store microwave should only be used to cook food bought in the store!

More evidence that there's some strange folks wandering among us.
McKeesport Police say a man walked into the store, and asked the clerk to use the microwave oven. After the clerk noticed a strange smell coming from the microwave, she told police she opened the door and discovered human male genitalia wrapped in a paper towel cooking inside. McKeesport police told KDKA the man fled with the severed body part after she made the discovery. She then called the police. According to police, blood was found on the bathroom floor.
Insert a Steelers joke if ya have one handy.

UPDATE: An anonymous commenter alerted me to breaking news in this story:
Investigators have since learned that it was not a real body part; but instead, it was part of a couple�s alleged plan to pass a drug test. According to McKeesport�s police chief, a man and a woman had inserted urine into a fake penis that the woman was planning to use to pass a drug test. One of them then went into the store and asked the clerk to microwave the object, which they had wrapped in a paper towel, so the urine could reach body temperature.
Not to worry the company took appropriate action:
Giant Eagle, the company that owns Get-Go, says the microwave involved in the incident was immediately removed from service and will be discarded.
Giant Eagle doesn't clean their urine heaters (I mean microwave ovens) they throw them out after one use.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Turns out it was a hoax of sorts. A man and a woman brought a Whizzinator in, filled with urine, and wanted to get it heated to body temperature so that one of them could pass a drug test. They have now come to the police and admitted what happened.

12:57 PM

 
Blogger Skippy-san said...

McKeesport is one tough neighborhood.......

So if you heat the urine, the drugs go away?

11:51 PM

 
Blogger LargeBill said...

No the drugs don't go away. I believe they were using someone else's urine and heating it so it wouldn't raise questions. When I was a urinalysis coordinator for a couple ships we were taught that when we put the label on the bottle to reject the sample if the bottle was cold. Body temp = 98.6 so the urine should be pretty warm.

3:50 AM

 
Blogger Crazy Politico said...

The funny thing, according to Yahoo News, it was HER not him taking the piss test... How was she going to explain that bulge in her pants :)

Bill, I also had the Urinalysis coordinator job. I hated it. Anytime I had to be the observer I'd randmomly laugh at people just as they were getting ready to fill the bottle. Didn't do much for their "stage fright" but it made my day more fun.

1:22 PM

 

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